Uneditied
No, I plan on being prepared when the time comes, a key to survival. That is or should be the number (#) 1 rule, “be prepared”.Many thoughts flash through my mind. Appearing to me as dates that I have been in a state of readiness. Like a tiger or a hunter that is going on safari. I am not sure if any of that makes sense or can be used to describe my serious tone and demeanor. People may have looked over at me during my time of contemplation and asked? “Readiness?” When I would hear you or their inquiry I would say, “Of course mate, preparedness is the best course of action?!” My accent carries the words into a new visual context. I wouldn’t notice your shock of course and I’m only explaining this to explain how my imagination wildly carries itself. Not that I am over imaginative but more of a secretly paranoid person.
So, secretly I would have given you a careful look and kept to myself. Knowing that, I would never really mention “shit” to someone like you. Let alone something that would cause you to be any more of a hindrance that you have already been to me. I could never give away one of my rules to a possible enemy. A none at all, A- A-. I stammer as I revel in my mind filled with disgust. To think that I would share something with someone who may fall into any category of “demonic infiltrator” , human filth, traitor, or any other type of unwanted. I stop my inner dialogue to let myself breathe a bit. I have to get ready for work and it is a day filled with hazardous situations. News flashes of angry cannibalistic mobs or some sickness that carries people into hysterics. I knew deep down that this was a possible Zombie outbreak, and people were just too chicken shit to admit it. To keep the noise down the news would spread heretical viewpoints. We as cock amazed citizens would gobble it up and be left unaware when the shit storm hit the fan. If that’s what shit storms did. I did not want to get sick or be bitten so I avoided crowds at all cost (another tip).
I wasn’t afraid to double tap or whatever but i think that anything involving people as meat would not fit my taste. I had a gun somewhere in a safe location but I think spells would be just as good as a weapon in a pinch against the witchery or ass holes who think they knew magic. Whatever, a nice pistol shot would have silenced Gandalf…. I am a fan so I think that if there ever came a time that middle earth became a vacation spot I wouldn’t mind smoking it up with bilbo. I could hear the excuses now as I got ready to leave for the portal or however the hell we were supposed to get there. It would be some dumb thing about lines or some bullshit about a rule that I never intended on breaking. Then some asshole would be just the guy to have concerns about it. Holding me up and causing concern, I would know that this was a pretender, someone who wasn’t prepared. I’d watch as we’d get there and this guy would be stabbed by an orc or some shit. Hhmm, i would’nt give a fuck….
Thinking about how many times that I would hear about political concerns I would just as many times see someone that some kind of way had an answer. I still could never for the life of me figure out how the world was filled with so many know it alls. I guess that’s why people don’t mention the slight famine that everyone can see coming. Scarcity becoming a real thing as food is wasted at an all time high and gas prices soar to around $8 bucks a gallon. No shit, I knew this day was coming. Looking down at my well worn walking boots. Yeah Middle earth and Sauron as president, I liked Trump in office but somehow I knee it would be a close race and debate.
Around people I try not to say as much. They hated me and I hated them just the same. I hated them for everything they tried to be and some of what they kept hidden. I tried to keep people in certain categories. To simplify things I gave them two main classes of people. Those classes were Wizards or Charlatans and at times it’s hard to tell the difference. A Wizard is the guy that some kind of way does shit, he could be a cheater, or a charmer. My imagination flings my thoughts into a foray of memories….
I remember standing out in the rain. Considering calling an uber, it was late and not many people were out. Not being much of an adventurer, still not a coward, I could brave the darker than usual night for a walk to save myself some cash. Walking I can think to myself. I remember what brought me out that night, A woman had wanted to hang out with me. I wouldn’t disappoint her, I spent the day “preparing”. It wasn’t until close to the time we would meet when I met the guy or saw him. A tall slender dude with blank features. He said I would have bad luck, a bullshit way to start the conversation. I ignored him and it seemed it did nothing to prevent his conversation. He seemed to prattle on and on about nothing. It wasn’t until my date showed that I decided to tell him to shove it. I didn’t get much of a chance as I heard him say her name. The way she snapped to his attention was startling and indifferent. I tried to suggest maybe she and I had things decided wrong and he definitely saw that I was inaccurate about who she was there for. I watched him take her, and kiss her, hugging her while slightly looking over her shoulder. She seemed taller then….
Not amused I watched as she took his hand and walked off into what had become a slight rain from the heavier downpour before. They walked in the light rain and for a time I was allowed to walk with them . Both seeming to glide along the concrete. It was like I was not even there. Them stopping to kiss and embrace through the rain I watched from a further distance as he would kiss her across her neck. I only closed the difference when during one of his loving caresses she let out a quiet cry. The streets are empty now and we are close to an ally and are the only noticeable people. I slowly walked backward as I watched her life look like it was drained from her body as blood trailed down her now open collar. He looked at me wildly as she was pulled into a creeping darkness. Softmuffles and what may have been breaking bones sounded off into the night….
I woke up at home with a girlfriend shorter, one wallet less and hung over but of course no bite marks. I would watch on the news as her body was found beside a dumpster badly beaten and broken. Oddly they said that no foul play was involved and she may have dragged herself there after a car accident and drinking. I stared at the screen in disbelief… Chareletons
A charlatan, a trickster, an interloper, a (brief pause) a liar. Both the Wizards and Charlatans formidable adversaries. They could be people you work with, they could be your neighbors. They could even be your boss. Slowly approaching middle age I can see a guy only a few years older than me have some high powered position. I would wonder how the hell he managed to get it. I’m not a hater. This guy would enter with his wizarding hat carrying his mixture in his goblet would douse me in the face and say, “none of your goddamn business, then tell me to clock out!” I wouldn’t question it, People would be entranced by the wizarding ways as he would receive praise for all the work I did. People would stare at me blankly as I gathered my belongings as his spell bound me to some fanciful tale about how I could improve. I would not understand his art, it seemed like he was really only telling me fuck you in some magic way.
Even though this has not happened often I would keep it in mind that it is an ongoing butt fuckery and to not be sodomized so keep my contact to a minimum. Another key rule (Less Contact equals Less exposure). Simple, I would give all of this thought as shadows crept across my roof top. As the apocalypse nears its inevitable beginning I have to prepare for work. Curses sound off somewhere in the darkness. Demons quietly whisper to me and people begin to get sicker and sicker of mind.
Wizards and Charlatans