” This is probably not my best work but I wanted to give this one a try” David Vaughn
A bunch of nervous thoughts that I had never thought on before. With every minute and second feeling like I would either piss on myself or that my thoughts would come pouring out of my head and run around the small two bedroom apartment.
Thoughts about the “hows” and “whys” of what could be. Covered with The idea of traveling and standing still all in one moment. “yes” It had been a while since I felt that nervous. Even my sweat would have sweat, but the idea of sweat even bothered me only because it was not distraction enough.
With the strange sounds emanating from the other room serving as reason enough to be distracted I looked in to see. Not shocked by the sound now that I could see where it had come from. More interested in who it was that stared at the screen”Roomie”. The screen showing some crazy looking shapes and some weird music soon turned off. Not staring at me my roommate got up and switched the tv back on. Startled by his quick motions I spoke.
After a few brief words about the upcoming pizza delivery I began to forget about what made me nervous in the first place. His startling reaction to my presence was not startling.
To my self I think about why am I thinking about startling. I think again to myself about how it is not his personality I am noticing but it was his unsettling reaction to “something”. I mistakenly ask. “yo”and as if the word was a que for him to depart he shot me a quick glance and left his own room. Startled was my initial reaction, which I will one day recognize as fear. His reaction “slight amusement”
Over the next few days we came and went and what I felt nervous about had soon left my mind. The weather was not much of a distraction but I guess by chance I spent more time away from home. On the few occasions where we were home together our conversations never touched base on what he was watching. Even now the only thing that makes me bring it up is that I saw him watching it again just recently. I did’nt see much of it and heard what I thought was a muffled voice. One that almost made laugh but seemed to frighten him some. Which caused him to tense his jaw. “colorful”
I didn’t see my roommate that day nor that evening but in his room I could hear the television working.You know what it is like when somebody plays a game and it sounds so interesting you want to join. This was one of those times, I got up to go and ask him to let me get in on the fun and before I could get to his door there he was. I notice the tv is off because the sound is no longer playing. I ask him then what is up and not in a threatening way but he says nothing and makes some joke about alone time.
“Relief” but it is like I said the sounds were funny so maybe he has some online girl or “something”. The following weeks are the same rent comes and goes. Here we are again with the delivery day for pizza And he asks me. “Yo” check this out.
Now me and my roommate are buddies and had been so for some time. We kept very little from one another. So at the thought of his prompt to speak I am ready to see what he is saying. He takes me to the living room and stands there he looks from me to the television and says nothing. I stare at the blank screen and “wait”. Nothing, and so it went. Nothing from him and not much change in me but I noticed that he became more “inviting”. We watched some weird show a couple of times but nothing sexual. “Cool”.
It never made sense why he moved out though, and it never made sense why he died or where his body was found. It never made sense how or why the videos or colors moved that way. And I guess nothing makes sense. So for my “Roommate” it may never make sense on the
“hows” and “whys” of those soundful colors and what made them move that way.
For me it never will